CITY NOTES: Fighting corruption in Kabul

We mark Independence Day one day before India does. Why, I’m not entirely sure, because the British let us go on the same day. Be that as it may, both countries marked the anniversary over the weekend. That meant, for Pakistanis, that only those who work a six-day week had a holiday. Of course, in India, even they had the holiday clash with a Sunday.
Independence Day

Well, the Indians seem to be busy celebrating for they have got a gold medal at the Olympics. What created a sense of injury was that a Pakistani athlete was also in the event, and failed to win a medal. Perhaps he did the right thing, for otherwise he would have had to stand on the podium while the Indian national anthem was played. It has happened before, when Pakistan and India used to be the finalists in men’s hockey. Nowadays, of course, they don’t qualify.

I wonder what will happen now that cricket is on schedule to be included in the 2028 games. I doubt if the Indo-Pak rivalry could grow any fiercer.

But what added insult to injury was that the Indian medal winner was a subedar in the Indian Army. He was rewarded with a commission, an award made by the Indian COAS himself, in front of a huge photograph of the surrender ceremony in Dhaka. Is that the reason why the Interprovincial Coordination Minister Fehmida Mirza has demanded the head of the President of the Pakistan Olympic Association, Lt Gen (r) Arif Hasan?

Somehow, the only thing missing is Arshaf Nadeem not being in the Army. Perhaps then he would have brought home a medal. If India can do it with a subedar, imagine what could be done by an officer of appropriate rank.

Just think of all those gold medals to be had in rhythmic gymnastics and synchronized swimming, and how efficiently our boys could win, instead of wasting places in the Olympic squad on people who aren’t going to win, or other civilians.

The problem with asking for General Hasan to resign is that you might as well ask the Minister to do so, as it supervises the Pakistan Sports Board. And why not ask the Minister’s boss, the PM? After all, he’s a sportsman too.

In fact, thinking of him, it’s perhaps a good thing that no one won any medals. You don’t want any rivals produced. I mean, what if someone wins a medal, and builds a hospital?
But that is not going to happen until a long time after 2024.

Meanwhile, Imran should watch Shahid Afridi (who captained the team that won the 2009 T20 World Cup) and Malala Yousafzai, who won a Nobel Peace Prize in 2014, for any intentions to build even a dispensary. Shaheen Afridi, a personable fast bowler is still the frontrunner, though he has the disadvantage of not having won any sort of World Cup for Pakistan. All of the people I’ve mentioned also suffer the disadvantage of not using cocaine, or anything else to give them energy.

Of course, nowadays Imran probably doesn’t have much time to watch athletics, concentrating on the race of the Taliban for Kabul. And it’s happening so fast that even the Taliban don’t know which city to capture next. Imran is just poised to blame Nawaz Sharif for the mess in Afghanistan, because of corruption.

Look, when the USA invaded, they also paid for the Afghan National Army to be established. Now it turns out they’re not worth much. Not much of an advertisement for the USA’s training abilities. So even though the American taxpayer has shelled out about a trillion or two on the ANA, it isn’t up to scratch. Where did the money go?

The story is that US contractors made a killing, as did the senior officers of the Afghan military. The US military is doing its best to have that version believed, and they are supported by our own fearless anti-corruption fighter And whose fault is it that the Kabul regime is corrupt?

Well, any lessons Nawaz gave were in the past, for now, that the British Home Office has refused to extend his visa, he is probably running out of options. One is to burn his passport and then become fully illegal. So if you think you recognise someone in London, or somewhere more off the beaten track like Derby or Hull, carrying a crate of empties or hawking fish, don’t go up and say “Salam alaikum Mian Sahib.” He is probably trying to maintain his incognito, while still a step ahead of the immigration people.