Dowry is a practice of giving valuable gifts, jewellery, cash and other essential items to a bride. It is hard to find the exact origin of the malpractice but it can be safely said that it has existed in Ddifferent civilizations in some form at different ages. Historians find evidence of its being an already existing practice in the Code of Hammurabi in ancient Babylon. It existed in ancient Greece, Egypt, China, Europe and India.
However, its purpose and meaning varied from place to place. For example, dowry was considered as a way of saving a bride from ill-treatment by the groom’s family. Similarly, in ancient India, it was a common practice parents to give something from their property as compensation because women would not inherit their property.
A society can be based on religious values or norms or its own set of civilized values and traditions. And dowry is a curse in both types of society.
Although several laws have been made to discourage its practice, the problem persists because it is deeply embedded in society. It has not only shaken the foundations of our society but it is also disgraceful for our country internationally. A holistic approach supported with collective efforts of all sections of society should be adopted at the national level to root out this curse
Pakistan was created in the name of Islam and its values, norms and culture must be based on Islamic values. But unfortunately, our society is badly entangled in the menace of dowry. However, according to the Islamic point of view, there is no concept of dowry.
The institution of marriage has immense importance and a lot of emphasis is laid on simple and inexpensive marriage. All expenses borne by the groom which is termed as Mehr and the venue of the marriage happens to be a mosque.
The best example we can quote from the exemplary life of the Holy Prophet (Peace Be Upon Him) is the marriage of Hazrat Ali (RA) and Hazrat Fatima (R.A) where Hazrat Ali (RA) bore all expenses by selling his armour.
Our society inherited the system of dowry from India at the time of Independence. Currently, it has taken the form of a menace. This dowry culture is deeply rooted in our society and it has turned into a social evil that is against the dignity of a woman. It is such an agony that a woman is forced to bring with herself all necessary items required for a standard living.
Instead of doing any good, it has turned out to be a source of oppression and depression for women. The continuous malpractice paved the way for systematic torture and oppression of women at the hands of the groom and his family. Now, women are assaulted, abused, killed and subjected to violence because of dowry. And there is no limit to this aggression.
Dowry is a material thing but now its value is more than a human being’s. A woman faces rejection if her family is unable to provide a dowry and comply with the demands of the groom’s family. Her worth depends on the amount of benefit she brings to the groom and his family.
However, in Islam, a woman is given immense respect and honour. It protects the dignity of a woman and saves her from all issues (socio-cultural and psychological) that emerge after rejection based on dowry.
Moreover, this malign practice has deprived women of their rights. For example, when a girl is born, her parents, instead of celebrating her birth, feel sorrow and start thinking about arranging her dowry. This is the first denial of her right and from here the journey of deprivation of rights begins.
The first major impact is on her education. And, this results in no or very limited education for a woman. Here, it is important to mention that depriving a woman of quality education means depriving the state of an intellectual being and upcoming generations of an educated mother. The violation of rights does not end here as the job left for her is to deal with the home affairs and take care of her in-laws, when married.
Similarly, she is deprived of the right to inheritance. A right that is given to her by the Almighty, is thus taken away from her in a systematic way. The amount spent on her dowry is cited as the reason for omitting her from getting a share in the property.
And, with the absence of proper education and economic liberty, she is left with no option but to rely on others. What else could she do in the absence of her rights, but to live a life in subjugation with no control over her decisions?
Furthermore, the concept of dowry has not only made a woman susceptible to violence and deprived her of her rights but also played a role in glorifying her as a material entity. This glorification has resulted in the image of a woman as a material and emotionless entity whose worth depends on what she brings with herself instead of being a human being who needs love, affection and kindness. This has impacted the overall concept of marriage which was supposed to be a simple affair according to the Islamic point of view.
Now a line is drawn between the bride and groom’s family with the former being powerless and the later being powerful. Agha Shorish Kashmiri in his book Us Bazaar Main narrates this bitter truth metaphorically. According to him the arrogant attitude of the groom, his parents and relatives and the pomp and show in the house of the bride is mostly similar to a victorious expedition of a king or as if he is invading some foreign land, instead of being a civilized, cultured and humanistic one.
Imagine the status of a woman who is starting a new life under these circumstances. And, the fear of taunts she has to live with because of insufficient dowry. Here, the question arises that in an atmosphere of continuous depression, pressure, humility and domestic violence how can a healthy generation be brought up?
Although several laws have been made to discourage its practice, the problem persists because it is deeply embedded in society. It has not only shaken the foundations of our society but it is also disgraceful for our country internationally. A holistic approach supported with collective efforts of all sections of society should be adopted at the national level to root out this curse.
