In Pakistan, giving and accepting dowry serves as a token of pride and affluence, which is why we have witnessed dowry gifts range from miscellaneous items to gold, cars, houses, etc. I personally see dowry as the price of the bride, which her family pays to the groom’s family for accepting their daughter. The practice dehumanises girls as their marriage prospects depend upon the value of dowry their parents can give. While the rich can afford an expensive dowry, the poor or lower-income families avoid marrying their daughters because they cannot afford it. Some are forced to take out hefty loans, which they repay for the rest of their lives.
A survey revealed that nearly 56% of Pakistanis want girls to bring dowry and most people believe dowry plays an important role in strengthening marriages. However, even years after marriages, parents-in-law and husbands subject women to mental or physical abuse over unsatisfactory dowry. Some families continue to pressure women and their families to fulfil dowry demands. Often the pressure becomes unbearable for women, and they resort to extreme measures such as suicide. The practice of dowry is ruining the institution of marriage and transforming it into a form of transaction.
Given that dowry is not an Islamic practice and several laws banning dowry have been passed in the country, one would expect some relief for girls’ families. However, this is far from reality and girls’ families are still under considerable strain. The relevant authorities should ensure rigorous implementation of the laws and punish those coercing families into giving dowry. Also, there should be greater emphasis on girls’ education as it will help change the status of women and equip them with making better decisions.
MEHWISH SALMAN
KARACHI
