In all of recorded history, no self-respecting new year has ever come without a set of new-year’s resolutions. And there is no reason 2023 should be any different. By another time-honoured convention, the number of these new-year’s resolutions is always ten, something the author has chosen to adhere to while compiling his list. It is the author’s belief that experienced husbands should find plenty of wisdom in his proposed resolutions. The newer recruits may find some of the items tough to live up to. These rookie husbands are urged to appreciate that one must aim high enough for the project to be termed a success even if one ends up achieving a fraction of one’s goals. It is certainly not a legitimate new-year’s resolution if one can do justice to it easily.
1. I will act my age: Age may be just a number but it pays to know that this number keeps changing all the time; and always in the wrong direction, that is, in ascending order. An illustrative story is told of a wife who lovingly removed the spectacles of her husband and observed that without his spectacles he looked exactly like the boy she had married twenty-five years ago. To which, the husband is said to have responded by observing that without his spectacles she did not look half-bad either. Looks can so easily be deceiving. Trust the calendars more than the mirrors and the naked eye. And act accordingly.
2. No pain-no gain: Admittedly, this sounds more like an aphorism than a new-year’s resolution; but the prudent husband will benefit from wisdom wherever and in whichever form he finds it. Make use of this year to realized that if marriage is easy, you are not doing it right. In other words, if your do not feel challenged by your better-half, you cannot possibly elevate yourself in spiritual ranks.
3. I will not wear flip-flops to the mall: The author is not aware of any law in any country of the world that forbids the act. However, human judgment and aesthetic sense surely demand more from a man than mere adherence to the letter of the criminal law.
4. I will cut down on screen time: Excessive social media activity comes with two grave pitfalls: One, it is injurious to your health, especially your eyes, neck and back. Two, it is injurious to your health because the missus is bound to think that you are having a good time without her involvement. She draws a non-negotiable line here. Do not try to move this line.
5. I will not dunk cookies in tea: There is a school of thought that scoffs at social norms and manners. This may be justified to an extent, but there are limits to everything. Even if one has been guilty of crossing inviolable limits in the past, that is absolutely no excuse to persist in misguided behaviour. Recall that every saint has a past, and every sinner a future, etc.
The dividing line between reasonability and lack of it is notoriously subjected. And therein lies the hope: you will be the sole arbiter of it.
6. All that glitters in not gold: This is another crucial resolution in the guise of an apophthegm. Nothing makes a husband’s life so miserable as the nagging suspicion that some other husbands, somewhere are having a ball. There is no such thing. Just take a look in your immediate vicinity and do the necessary extrapolations. Do not make life more difficult than it needs to be.
7. I will not be unreasonable: This one is tricky. The dividing line between reasonability and lack of it is notoriously subjected. And therein lies the hope: you will be the sole arbiter of it. If your better-half disagrees, bring it politely to her notice that the act or thought in question may well be beyond reasoning but certainly not beyond reason. Do not let your past dictate the future. What is done is done; and every new year opens brand-new new vistas of reasonability.
8. I will watch my weight: Frequent the jogging-track. Do not repeat the story of last year and the year before that by letting the gym membership fee go to waste. And no more consumption of donuts without stint. Watch your weight, but ensure that you do not become thinner than the missus (fat chance of that happening though); or she will start fearing that you may actually outlive her and have all the fun after she is gone. This is likely to have a decidedly deleterious effect on your marriage.
9. I will be a picture of cheerful sagacity: It is one thing to be in the right, but at the same time feeling superior and uptight about it. It is a whole different – and wholesome – level to feel cheerful and charitable while practising the art of self-denial. Let your wife have her way. Let her win arguments. Do not beat her in debates if that means breaking her heart. Lose battles and win wars.
10. I will never compromise on principle: This may sound contradictory to #9 above, but there is no conflict, really. A husband can be utterly uncompromising on crucial matters, and at the same time be a study in patient understanding of the wife’s opinion when it comes to trivial matters. National economy, foreign policy, and national security are examples of the former; while the children’s education, guests welcome (and unwelcome) in the house, and how to manage the household finances belong to the latter category. Start behaving like the man that you always were deep inside. Let 2023 be the start of a brand-new life.
