The family’s hierarchical structure nurtures women in situations where the syndrome of dependency is systematically entrenched to perpetuate hegemony and dominance. Human history is defined more by the struggle to maintain authority than by the democratization of social roles. In his book The Better Angels of Our Times, Steven Pinker argues that women with fewer resources—less than half as many as men—achieve more desirable outcomes than men. Women were critical to the success of both the war economy and the agricultural revolution in the sociological context. During the machine age, women were also more active participants in the process of gathering information. In reality, it is always men who gain leverage over women’s struggles. With a few exceptions, let us look at the story of Pakistan’s 51 percent female population.
A girl was born into the family. Now all the dignity of the family rests on this single woman. The whole family behaves differently because she is a woman with different sexual organs than men. The first stage of the system did not recognize women as equal beings. And sexual organs determine the prestige of humans in society. The mysterious prestige with the sexual organs prevail as standard norm for accepting humans in the patriarchal settings.
Her family brought her up in such a way that either overprotection or underprotection happened. If she is in the middle or upper middle class, overprotection will destroy a woman’s creative abilities, which she can use to create balance in her future life. Constantly being aware that she is a woman and that she is dependent on blood relatives or any male in society to fulfill her needs, is what causes her to become psychologically dependent. She mysteriously accepts that she is another being rather than a complete human. She is now psychologically relying on someone for approval in society. She has moved on to a new stage of life and is maturing.
This is how a woman’s life was centered throughout her life in Pakistan. The misery lasts for a long time for the lower middle class. In the middle or upper-middle class, women benefit from empowerment, but only by a small margin. A woman is a complete human being. They are not just entertainers or alluring machines. Human qualities, not sexual beauty, must be the criteria for acceptance.
From elementary school to university, the system is set up in such a way that she is unable to learn survival on her own. This is due to a culture of dignity or a closed society in which her independence threatens the egos of alpha males. Dependence is the most heinous form of exploitation, designed for her so that the male family structure can rule over her for the rest of her life. They don’t let her become independent because independence would hurt their hegemony.
Before colonialism, the case was different. People were more open. Women were even in charge. After colonization in our area, things changed. In the subcontinent, the subjugation of women for owning property and other rights was considered essential by our “masters.”
Now for the important part: Because she is a woman, all men, whether in the family or not, have the right to stare at her, even manipulate her, and make a sexual attempt to win her over. The majority of women don’t talk about this. Vultures live in families. It is even possible for close relatives to benefit from the dependency syndrome of a woman. During the age bracket of 12–16 years, the majority of girls, either in rural or urban settings, face some kind of sexual abuse or sexual assault. She lived a pathetically normal life all her life despite sexual abuse. Home robs them of their right to a life of equality and privileges.
Stage 2 begins if she manages to protect her sexual organ from the primitives and the backward. School, college, and university education takes place at this stage. From school teachers to fellow students, they desperately try to somehow make this woman come and allure them sexually. System 2 also denied a woman the status of an equal being. Sexual organ differences don’t mean she is a yielding machine for the desperate desires of the primitive.
In stage 3, she now looks forward to services, or being somewhat prepared for jobs after graduation. For example, if a girl (who was born 23 years ago) decides to prepare for public service exams, she start attending an academy. At the very least, she begins to follow people in need of assistance. At this point, if she is in academy, a desperate boy will try everything he can to obtain her phone number. The next level of desperation is that will begin to call for her. After a few times, he starts persuading her emotionally and tactically. Do you understand why all the effort is necessary? Because sex is the only criteria that is being associated with women. The System 3 woman is again not allowed to be an individual and is just a sexual existence.
The following stage is stage 4, in which she obtains employment. Now all the office boys and so-called bosses will try to win her over for sexual reasons. At workplace system 4, she is not treated as an equal and competent force, but as a mere sexual entertainer.
Stage 5 is the final one in my vocabulary. At this stage, women’s beauty fades; beauty which was the criteria for the primitives. Now she is an entertainer in the form of a mother or a wife. She can now entertain men with affection and attention. Her own desires have been submerged in the course of this process.
This is how a woman’s life was centered throughout her life in Pakistan. The misery lasts for a long time for the lower middle class. In the middle or upper-middle class, women benefit from empowerment, but only by a small margin. A woman is a complete human being. They are not just entertainers or alluring machines. Human qualities, not sexual beauty, must be the criteria for acceptance.
