CITY NOTES
It all started when we lost to Bangladesh. Handing them a Test win was not so easily papered over as when he lost to them in the 1999 in the 1999 World Cup in a pool match. That win enabled Bangladesh to gain Test status. And now, 25 years on, they’re taking it out on us.
Y’know, I don’t think they’ve gotten much better. We’ve gotten worse. I mean, any other team would have pasted us by an innings.
In fact, the only positive to have emerged from that match is the failure of Shaheen Shah Afridi to do anything that would get him on the same page in the future. Of course, he should remember that Imran Khan went wicketless on his debut against England in 1971. Like Shaheen, Imran was dropped for the next match. Another danger to Imran, of being placed on the same page, Arshad Nadeem, was given the Hilal-i-Imtiaz by President Asif Zardari, but he’s probably too ugly to be on the same page. Not to mention that he hasn’t got any illegitimate children to show.
From a sporting loss, it all went downhill from there. First was the awful news of the massacre in Rahim Yar Khan, in which so many policemen lost their lives. Then there was the murder spree in Musakhail, when Baloch separatists pulled people off buses and killed them. The only constant, it seemed, was that Shehbaz Sharif remained PM. Sorry, there was also Imran staying in jail.
Actually, there’s now a case for his being made PM. Forget about the IMF, the economy, the tax-toGDP ratio, and all of the boring details of the nitty-gritty of people’s lives. Let’s see how he would handle the Balochistan situation. He has a good man for KP, Ali Amin Gandapur, who stamps around looking menacing, which he apparently thinks is a substitute for governing. However, he has been something of a disappointment for PTI supporters. Despite his looks, he hasn’t beaten up anybody.
However, just make him walk through Balochistan once, and you would probably no longer have any more trouble. You see, the people of Balochistan think that the PTI is full of people like former Deputy Speaker Qasim Suri. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not suggesting that Qasim Suri looks sophisticated or even educated. But Ali Amin looks almost as much of a bad boy as the Cuptaan himself. Balochistan must be kept in the federation. I mean, we can’t stand losing to Balochistan, can we?
Imran would also have been worried by how former President Barack Obama went after Republican standardbearer Donald Trump in his speech at the Democratic National XConvention.Obama would have been universally condemned if Trump in 2020 had not boasted about the size of his… y’know… junk. Obama spoke deprecatingly about Trump’s excessive concern with crowd size, but the gesture he made clearly preferred to Trump’s boasting in the 2020 election, when he spoke of not having had any complaints.
I frankly don’t mind who the Americans elect President, but I’m beginning to understand why Ttrump and Imran hit it off when they met. Are they the same size. Did they have a match to find out who could pee farther? Did they then play “Mine is bigger than yours?” They certainly have proved time and again that they have the same mental age. And mentality.
Someone who quite coldly appealed to that mental age and that mentality was Sardar Kmal, the stage actor, who has passed away. Tariq Teddy has gone, which makes it seem that great towers are falling. Amanullah is no more, as are Babbu Bral and Mastana. Dardar Kamal was certainly of that quality of comedian, though he could also play the Everyman trying to maintain his dignity in a collapsing world. He will bring laughter no more, which will leave the world a poorer place.
Imran and Trump both need to think about whether they will leave the world a better place when they themselves leave it. After all, they’re both in their 70s and even if they live to vast ages, the light at the end of the tunnel is visible. They both claim the youth vote, but for how long more?
