I know our Test team isn’t all that great, but did they have to get a whitewash by Bangladesh? Next thing you know, Afghanistan and Ireland will be clamoring to play us in the hope of chalking up their initial victories against Pakistan.
Afghanistan has got three Test victories. Against Zimbabwe, Ireland and Bangladesh. They’ve also played Sri Lanka, India and the West Indies, and gone down before them. Ireland has only got two, against Afghanistan and Zimbabwe. They’ve gone against England, Sri Lanka, and even Bangladesh. One thing about these two new Test countries, though. They’ve not got a single draw between them. All or nothing, seems to be the motto they both live by. Zimbabwe has managed to eke out 41 draws in the 118 Tests they have played, and have won 13 matches, including three against Pakistan.
But you know what was the real twisting of the knife in the wound was that we were done over by Hasan Mahmud, a fast bowler, who took 5-43 as Pakistan got bowled out for 172, Not a wily spinner, but a pacer. Our own pacer, Khurram Shehzad, also took 6-90, thereby making us regret the absence of Shaheen Shah Afridi and Nseem Shah.
Well, we shouldn’t regret too much, because it would mean improving their chances of getting on the same page. As a matter of fact, Khurram Shehzad has a chance of getting on the same page, but like Arshad Nadeem, the javelin-thrower, he’s probably not handsome enough. And neither is likely to attract the youth vote when over 70.
Bangladesh has got dilemmas. The captain of the triumphant team, Najmul Hussain Shanto, as more or less got onto the same page, as a time when someone on the same page, Dr Yunus, is in office. Dr Yunus has got it a little easier than usual, because Shanto only became captain this year, and the previous captain, Shakibul Hasan is also in the team, poised to prevent Shanto getting on the same page. Another applicant for the same page, Mashrafe Mortaza, was actually a member of Parliament when the Army took over. It might seem unfair that Bangladesh has so many potential candidates, unlike Pakistan, but we must remember that applicants don’t eat organic food, or have any illegitimate daughters.
Speaking of Imran, he should count himself lucky to be in jail, because he cannot be accused of the criminal assaults in Attock, Gujranwala or Kot Addu. The ones in Attock were particularly painful, because they were both against boys. Though Attock is the home district of Lt Gen (retd) Faiz Hameed, the events took place after his arrest, which lets him out. One involved a truck driver and his cleaner (or ‘cleander’ as he is better known for some reason on buses), who threw their victim on the roadside in Pindi Gheb after they had worked their will. Then there was the more orthodox assault in the Hasanabdal area.
It seems you can’t live with lady teachers, and can’t live withouut them. A lady teacher’s husband in Gujranwala is accused of having assaulted numerous girls. Sometimes it’s not enough to tell a lady teacher to control her husband. She has to be controlled. One in Kot Addu was robbed of loads of money and assaulted, on the promise of a US visa.
And then there was the lawyer who transferred a hefty sum to a purported SHO, who said that he had arrested the boy for a criminal assault, and would let him go for a consideration. The boy came home from school, and the lawyer found out he has been defrauded. I don’t what was the son’s refraction when he found out that his father had believed him capable of such an act.
The PTI finally held it rally in Islamabad. This is the rally planned for July. Well, better late than never. I won’t go into how many people were there. I’ll leave that to the talking heads.
