Kate Middleton’s brother, James Middleton, has opened up about his battle with mental health struggles in his upcoming memoir, Meet Ella: The Dog Who Saved My Life.
In an excerpt published by a private news outlet, James, 37, revealed he once experienced suicidal thoughts. Reflecting on those dark times, he wrote, “Life is no longer worth living. I feel suicidal. I contemplate ways of dying so I can get off the giddy roller-coaster that is sending me to the brink of madness.”
James described his emotional turmoil further, expressing feelings of being misunderstood and overwhelmed by a profound sense of failure. “I feel like a complete failure,” he shared, adding, “I wouldn’t wish the sense of worthlessness and desperation, the isolation and loneliness, on my worst enemy.”
Despite coming from a loving and supportive family that includes his parents, Carole and Michael Middleton, his sisters Kate and Pippa, and his brothers-in-law, Prince William and James Matthews, James recounted pushing them away during his darkest moments. “I do not answer their phone calls. Emails remain ignored. Invitations to visit go unheeded. I hide behind a double-locked door, unreachable,” he wrote.
James’ struggle reached its lowest point one night in November 2017, when he seriously contemplated ending his life by jumping from a building in London. “Dark thoughts crowd in on me. What can I do to make them stop? I think about jumping from the rooftop. Who would find me?” he reflected. He even considered whether his death could be perceived as a tragic accident, sparing his family from the pain of knowing he had taken his own life.
However, it was his dog, Ella, that pulled him back from the edge. James credited his beloved pet for saving his life, writing, “I imagine myself without her, and the chain of thought makes me pause. What would Ella do without me? She depends on me, and I on her.” He described the bond with his dog as reciprocal, adding that her love and companionship kept him going through his most challenging days.
Ella sadly passed away in January 2023, after 15 years by James’ side. Announcing her death on Instagram, he wrote, “It is with great sadness that I announce my dear Ella has passed away. For 15 years Ella has been at my side, from my darkest days to my happiest. I’m going to miss her terribly.”
James’ memoir sheds light on his mental health journey and the significant role his dog played in helping him through his most difficult moments, offering a message of hope and resilience.
