The Bania and the Brahmin

Well, the Champion’s Trophy is well and truly over, and it seems New Zealand has profited by Australia’s example, by duly losing to India in the final. Australia beat India in India, before the Indian PM, in the World Cup final in 2023. Australia only knows the price it has paid diplomatically, the cost of having an ethnic Kashmiri, Usman Khwaja, in the run for team. The Aussies tried, and didn’t pick him. If Modi had come across him, knowing he was a Kashmiri Muslim, he might have taken a bat to him right away. Not because he’s a violent man, but because he had been polluted, and would have to undergo a number of pujas to be purified, not to forget the many gifts that would have to be made to the Brahmins conducting the pujas.

India had played all its matches in Dubai, so many matches in fact, that Dubai had become home ground. Modi stayed away, though I doubt the truth of the rumours that he did so because they wouldn’t name the ground after him, as they had done in Ahmedbad for the World Cup final. Plus the New Zealand PM wasn’t coming. The takeaway was that the Indian team avoided the pollution they would have incurred for coming to Pakistan. Having a Sharma (Brahmin) as captain was not apparently enough. Besides, the Indian cricket team is polluted enough by Sikhs like Shubnam Gill and Jasprit Bumrah, and Muslims like Muhammad Shami, so Rohit Sharma is probably kept busy off the field by all of the pujas he must conduct

I see that Salman Ali Agha is no better a captain than Muhammad Rizwan, at least judging by the pounding Pakistan got in the first T20I against New Zealand. I think it is time for desperate measures. We must call up Azam Khan, and make either him or Shan Masood captain. I like the idea of Shan Masood. He would contrive some way of losing with more than 20 overs to spare.

Pakistani cricket is lurching from disaster to disaster in all three formats of the game. Meanwhile, here’s been a storm in a teacup over the absence of a PCB representative from the Champion ‘Trophy Awards ceremony. Yeah, with Amit Shah’s son Jai Shah as President of the ICC, you couldn’t have a polluting Pakistani presence at the ceremony, could you? If his shadow had fallen on him, he would have had to have purifictory bath with Ganges water, and made an offering of pure ghi to the presiding Brahmin, probably Rohit Sharma. Jai Shah is very definitely Amit Shah’s son. Both father and son look like embodiment of ‘greasy’ Indians, the stereotype that Donald Trump is exploiting these days to expel Indians among other immigrants from the USA. The Indian Home Minister, and his son, who is BCCI Secretary as well as ICC chief, both look as if someone passed off used engine oil in place of Ganges water every day for years without fail. The pair shouldn’t be all that sensitive. They are merely banias, which puts them below both Brahmins like Rohit Sharma or Kshatriyas like Ajay Jadeja.

But it does put them above Modi, who is a Teli, and thus Sudra. He is an Other Backward Caste. Of course, some Telis want to move up the ladder, and claim to be Banias. Still, even though they are telis, I don’t suppose they are greasy enough.

Pakistan’s or Pakistanis ‘polluting presence has not stopped India from carrying out the Jafar Express outrage. Well, I don’t suppose trhey carried it out personally, but the train-jackers certainly were in contact with Indian handlers in Afghanistan over the satellite phone.

I realize that it was a horrendous deed, but the BLA guys didn’t carry it out thoroughly. I mean, there were no horses involved. And not a single hijacker wore a Stetson. So naturally the rescuers didn’t bother smoking a small black cigar, dangling rakishly from the side of the mouth.

How far are we going to go? Robbing stagecoaches? Do the BLA people think they’re cowboys or Indians? Are they going to fill the gap left in Karachi by the MQM, and start snatching mobiles?

LEAVE A REPLY

Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here

Must Read

Guard killed as PPP senator’s vehicle attacked in Ghotki

GHOTKI: A guard was killed and three others sustained gunshot wounds when the convoy of PPP Senator Jam Mehtab Dahar came under attack in...