‘Because Mama says so’

And its many variants

Depending on the type of reasoning employed, arguments can be categorized as inductive arguments rooted in empirical data, deductive arguments built on axioms, arguments based on evidence from revealed texts, and their various combinations. There is one argument however, that stands out among all these arguments for its majestic simplicity. I am referring to the ‘Because Mama says so’ argument.

This is a frequently stated justification for many a ridiculous belief. In fact, arguably the only rationalization that comes anywhere close to ‘Because Mama says so’ in terms of frequency of use is ‘Because Papa says so’. Of course, these are sorry imitations of arguments because they add nothing to meaningful conversation; in fact, quite the contrary. If these happened to be valid arguments, it would have been a tell-tale sign of high wisdom to believe that dark tea darkens one’s complexion, or that Satan starts praying as soon as he observes an unfolded prayer mat, or that shaving one’s head enhances hair growth, or that ‘beauty’ soap makes one’s skin healthy. For these are some of the things that mamas, papas, aunts and grandparents typically tell their juniors.

The ‘Because Mama says so’ type of argument is so popular because it has two irresistible things to offer. First, one gets to do what one wants to do anyway, for you will be hard pressed to see such folks ever doing, under the pretext of ‘Mama says so’, anything that they happen to dislike or even find inconvenient. And second (and this is the fun part), one gets to be a Mama’s boy (or girl) in the process as well. Things do not get any more delicious than this, do they?

One’s parents and elders can be a tremendous help, of course. For they believe and say many things that make much sense as well. Naturally, those ought to be listened to and followed. But all such things are worthy of consideration on their own merit and not because somebody merely says so. To believe otherwise is tantamount to putting the cart before the horse, and is a recipe for much intellectual confusion or entertainment depending on how one views such things.

Also, the ‘Mama says so’ argument is a legitimate argument while we are still toddlers. But then we grow up. Or do we?

Emotions, no doubt, have a part to play in life, and an important one at that. For it is emotions that set humans apart from beasts on the one hand and cold, hard machines on the other. Love for parents and elders is therefore not only natural but extremely wholesome as well. Love of family or country is priceless as it has the power to make individuals rise above their fears and the instinct of self-preservation for a higher good. Love is clearly out of its league, however, when it is used as the criterion to tell the truth apart from falsehood and to distinguish between right and wrong.

Parents keep telling their children that two and two make four, and justifiably so. So do teachers. But does two and two making four depend on the parents’ or the teacher’s authority? Of course not! Matters of fact do not depend on anybody’s opinions. They can be ascertained one way or the other by observation and/or experiment. As for beliefs, they are sound (or unsound) precisely in proportion to the quality (or lack thereof) of the arguments they are based on.

If I had a rupee every time an acquaintance, friend or relative used the ‘Mama’ argument, I would be an extremely rich man today. That said, the ordinary citizen is by no means the only demographic who habitually gets carried away in his or her love for his parents in this manner. The typical religious scholar is scarcely better in this regard. The latter is generally more sophisticated, but only barely so. He replaces parents or close ancestors with more revered or impressive-sounding individuals such as Abdul Qadir Jilani, Ibn e Arabi, Imams Abu Hanifa and Ghazali.

However, that does not change anything; for no matter what figure of authority (in his view) it happens to be, the argument essentially remains the same. In other words, it is the old ‘Because Mama says so’ in a slightly more dignified packaging. Any sensible man, if he happens to be around, cannot help asking these people what the point of the Quran is if it is the arbitrary opinions of parents and such historical figures that is going to decide issues.

It is one of the more unfortunate frailties of mankind that individuals tend to regard what traditionally happens in their homes and surroundings as ‘normal’, correct, and hence an example for all others to follow (or to die trying at least); and what happens in other homes as ‘abnormal’, incorrect and therefore deplorable. Stories of incidents and views of scholars that happen to be popular in one’s household, especially during one’s formative years, have the same effect. They fail to realize that everybody else has these subjective norms and biases too, just as they fail to realize that others probably have opinionated parents and elders as well, whose opinions may differ with those of their own in a very basic measure.

Parents keep telling their children that two and two make four, and justifiably so. So do teachers. But does two and two making four depend on the parents’ or the teacher’s authority? Of course not! Matters of fact do not depend on anybody’s opinions. They can be ascertained one way or the other by observation and/or experiment. As for beliefs, they are sound (or unsound) precisely in proportion to the quality (or lack thereof) of the arguments they are based on. What anybody says (howsoever charming and dear) is neither here nor there. We all love our elders to death but that is absolutely no reason to agree with all their silly beliefs.

Hasan Aftab Saeed
Hasan Aftab Saeed
The author is a connoisseur of music, literature, and food (but not drinks). He can be reached at www.facebook.com/hasanaftabsaeed

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